i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize