I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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