i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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