I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
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if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
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Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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