I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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