I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize