How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize