i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize