I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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