bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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