i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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