I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize