Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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