I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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