I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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