I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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