i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize