last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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