6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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