Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
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I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
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And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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