when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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