We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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