I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
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