As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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