Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize