Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize