im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So much rum. So many feels.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize