Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize