Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize