I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
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He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
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high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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