who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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