I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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