2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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