Someone shit on the floor
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize