I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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