so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
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