These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize