just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
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I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
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I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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