I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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