You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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