I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize