I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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