hotel room ftw
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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