I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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