I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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