I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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