I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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