Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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