There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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