evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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